Fighting with myself would be the last thing I will do. Coz its the toughest when you are against yourself.

Just a few hours ago, I was fighting with myself. I was trying to control myself from losing my head. I read all the prayers I could to calm myself down, thank goodness it worked.

Research has it that humans react differently when they are on the verge of losing control over a certain overwhelming response of emotions. How I reacted? I cried while riding back home on Sparzy. WTF?!!!

I had asked for work-related assistance with a fellow kolig of a senior status. If I could, I wouldn't wanna trouble her. But circumstances made it for me to need her assistance. I wonder, if at that point of time, she was in a bad mood or if she has had a very bad day or to put it bluntly - she don't wish to help me at all. Needless to say, she could simply tell me that she don't wish to help in a nice way. I won't blame her, really.

I can always get another kolig to help. But no, she chose to help without even a little sincerity and had to show it off to another two koligs who happen to be at the scene. She had to bang on the telephone set angrily and showed me all the unhappiness. I wonder why?

For a moment there I thought, has she no decent self respect among working peers?

What happens if I wasn't able to control my temper? For sure things will not be the same at work tomorrow. Definitely.

I am nice when you are nice to me. I can still be nice even when you are mean to me. But what happens if I lost the will to be nice any longer? I don't have the answer either.

I am as such.

:: Thought of the day ::
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."